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March 21, 2005
Fish Museum
Where have I been and what have I been doing? Well, a little of this, a little of that. Today both the Bean and I are home due to low-grade colds, coughs and the itchy/watery eye combination that we know and love as conjunctivitis. Fortunately, I found a near-empty bottle of the drops we had last go around with this business and eeked a couple out last night at the first signs. This morning I took the Bean to his Very Sexy Doctor and got a proper prescription for him so we don't have to resort to using evaporated and expired ether on his eyes. Mine I don't care about as much.
The Very Sexy Doctor and I are kind of in a fight. He is about my age and sexy in a way that you don't notice the first few times you see him, especially if your crotch is filled with stitches, your baby screams all the time and you are a bombed-out, shaking mess. But now that the crotch has healed, the screaming has diminished and I've sort of pulled it back together, he is a fine hunk of child-healing man.
The Bean has had some issues with foods and we've gotten him tested for a number of allergies (soy, dairy, egg) all which came back negative. In desperation, we finally eliminated wheat from his diet and sure enough, away went the rashes and the wheezing and a bunch of other stuff. When I told the doctor that the Bean wasn't eating wheat and that it seemed to be helping him, he gave me the old "You're a crazy mother who doesn't know jack about her own kid's health and well-being" look, which ordinarily would have had me dishing out a little Wrath of Mom. Instead, we find ourselves at a stalemate, where I know the Bean not eating wheat is good, the doctor won't test him, we'll continue not feeding the Bean wheat even though it is a pain in the spelty-brownricey butt, and the doctor will go on being hot. It is working for us for now.
We went to the aquarium this weekend with the Bean's five-year old Cuz and his Grandma and Grandpa. It was so insanely crowded due to monsoon-like weather conditions that it took all four of us grown-ups just to keep track of our two very short fish enthusiasts.* I was glad I had just purchased the Bean some of those light-up sneakers because it made it easier to see his monkey-ass when he took off running through the masses. Of course, me still being rather new to this whole toddler thing, I had no idea that you couldn't just buy, say, red light up-sneakers or blue. No, no. You have to get like the Bratz riding My Little Pony while at Malibu Ken's Tropical Vacation Dance Party. Seriously, I know I've said this before, but can SOMETHING that kids wear/eat/watch/carry/look at not be covered in some mass-produced marketing propaganda? We ended up getting Buzz Lightyear because at least the lights were rockets and that was better than most.
Speaking of fashion, I have a home stylist named Freddy Fabrioduccie, who is really my husband. In the past, Freddy has tended to my highlighting needs and done an adequate job. Last weekend, though, Freddy was in the middle of the process when he started muttering, "This is not going well. I'm screwing it up." Not what a lady wants to hear when her stylist is waving the bleach bottle around her head.
After I rinsed and dried my hair, I had a horrible, brass-colored donut of hair on the top of my head, which tapered off into my natural mouse-brown at the ends. I worked from home the next day to avoid embarrassing looks and comments, fired Freddy, and went to the salon the next evening. A couple of hours and a hundred bucks later, I am now a bit of a blondie. We shall see if I start having any more fun, although it is hard to imagine more fun than home highlights, fish and pinkeye, especially in that order.
* It's weird to me that almost every visit to the aquarium ends with us eating fish and chips at the nasty touristy restaurant at the end of the pier where the aquarium is. I wonder if their PR departments have ever thought about teaming up and posting signs on the tanks that say "Think I look good? Wait 'til you taste me at Rick's Salty Shack, where you can eat me and two of my friends for 9.99!" Or the restaurant could have "Nemo Taco Tuesdays", where you could pick your own Nemo out of a tank and then make a taco out of him. Kids would love it!
Posted by Max at March 21, 2005 12:28 AM