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November 24, 2004
The Queen of Karaoke
Last night I went out with my homegirl Lu, whom I haven't seen since her lovely wedding in August. Lu and I have a long history of singing songs together, whether it be in one of our living rooms, at parties, or more often, in the warm and familiar embrace of Bush Gardens.
Lu is a "real" singer, in that she has a band and she is good. She is also wonderfully supportive and patient with her less vocally-talented friends, encouraging them to try new songs even if they are hard, and adeptly switching from low to high harmony if said tipsy friends suddenly forget exactly what they supposed to be singing while on stage.
As long time patrons of Bush Gardens, we rather fancied ourselves experts on the subject of karaoke. But until last night, we had never met its Queen.
The evening was progressing nicely, although having learned my lesson earlier in the week, I was about 75% more sober than most people at the bar. Being undrunk in a crowd of drunken people can make for some interesting times. There was the usual karaoke archetypes: the big guy singing falsetto, the hipster hamming his way through "King of the Road", and yes, the trio of blonde sorority girls wiggling and screaming their way through "Love Shack".
The best singer of the evening by far was a Rubenesque redhead who had a deep, booming voice that filled the room. Even the guys in the back of the bar stopped their drug dealing and cell phoning to listen when she took the stage. However, like many great talents, she had an ego to match her voice. When the trio of sorority girls went up for a second song, for some reason the redhead felt compelled, mid-way through, to jump onstage and take over singing lead vocals.
It was like listening to a bunch of sick dogs howling and then suddenly Aretha Franklin joins in. She truly sang the crap out of the song. But the sorority girls were (understandably) offended. This was karaoke, people are supposed to suck. They left the stage in a huff, but not before the leader of the sorority girls shouted to the redhead "Oh sure, everyone knows that YOU are the QUEEN of karaoke!" The Queen of Karaoke (QofK) wielded her microphone like a weapon. Not only did she proceed to belt out another song ("Natural Woman"), but she peppered her performance with insults and challenges, asking did the girls want a piece of her? Would the girls care to take it outside? At this point, I was practically hyperventilating because the whole scene was unfolding like one of my favorite movies Bring it On but with singing instead of cheerleading and everyone was white.
The song was sung, ice and insults were thrown, tempers escalated until finally, when the Q of K left the stage, she headed straight to where the lead sorority girl was standing with her posse and GRABBED HER BY THE THROAT! A full-on girl fight ensued, and then even boyfriends got involved. At one point, a guy "hulked out" and took off his shirt I guess so that he could fight better, or at least look better fighting.
A barroom brawl with a catfight nucleus while people sing karaoke. I ask you, what could be more entertaining on a Saturday night?
Posted by Max at November 24, 2004 12:46 AM