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July 18, 2005
Limbo akimbo
This morning I did a full-on pratfall on the way to work, complete with windmilling arms, broken shoe, and traffic blockage. I was on my cell phone with my mother discussing the latest in the cross-country move saga when my heel caught in a grate. The full force of me continued charging uphill with my foot caught in a vise-like grip and I biffed. I felt like I was in the movies! Now I am all achy and my very cute sandal is being held together with staples and will have to be discarded. This confirms that talking on the damn cell phone is dangerous when you are mobile. One should only use them while lying prone in your yard on sunny, windless days.
We had our open house yesterday, which went fairly well although the daily stress of picking pieces of lint off the stairs, collecting mashed plums from our patio, setting our throw pillows at right angles and encasing our toddler in stain-free plastic sheeting is getting to us. We have confirmed open house snoopage by our sour-faced cat-loving neighbor, who sits on her darkened porch at night smoking, staring at our house with narrowed, hateful eyes. She hates us because our cat is mean to her cat and also because we have a certain joyfulness in our family life that she seems to loathe. We laugh! We sing! We kiss each other on the mouth! Take that, sour cat lady!
On the other coast, the owners of our potential future home were apparently so freaked out as a result their house inspection that they had to go to the Jersey shore. How this will help, I do not know. All that hair and gold jewelry would send me over the edge. If our inspection report comes back with any alarming findings, we may have to go to Tukwila.
Posted by Max at July 18, 2005 10:12 PM
Comments
I once did such a pratfall! I was talking on the cell phone (see a theme here?) with my long-distance boyfriend, while carrying a key lime pie I had just picked up . . . it was my contribution to my Bunko group's pot luck dinner. All of a sudden, I found myself sprawling on the sidewalk, having tripped on a large crack in it. The pie, phone and boyfriend survived intact (although I had to fish the pie box out from under a car). Sadly, my brand new French dress pants were not as lucky. :(
Posted by: Lisa at July 20, 2005 02:16 AM