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September 25, 2005
in the sequel, there will be cops
The other night we went and done saw a movie starring Jodie Foster's cute hairdos and her liquid eyeliner. The movie was enjoyable in a sure-it's-great-to-watch-movies-about-missing-kids and oh-the-plane's-gonna-crash kind of way. At this point, my husband and I would watch a movie about moss growing on a shed, it's such a luxury to go out at all.
The previews rolled along as we enjoyed delicious popped corn and criminally over-priced candy. We were comfortably surrounded by chattery, grandparenty couples who were clinking their bracelets, adjusting their bi-focals and settling their big booties in for the film.
At one point, a beautiful Western vista filled the screen ala "A River Runs Through It". Two heroic, chisled men stared into the sunset, the music swelled, I think there were cows. I was only half paying attention since there had been about thirty previews. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the cowboys were dry-humping in a tent! Then they were soul kissing! And smelling each other's shirts! Yeeeow! A collective intake of breath was the only sound for the next thirty seconds as the seniors tried to reconcile what they were seeing on the screen with what they knew previously about cowboys.
I suppressed ten thousand giggles and the urge the yell GAY COWBOYS!! at the end of the clip. When the title of the film, which had been coyly hidden, finally flashed on the screen, I at first glance thought it said "Broken Moustache". My husband thought the name was going to be "Ride 'em Cowboys". Turns out it was this.
Good thing they put another trailer right after with Heath Ledger playing a straight guy or the whole audience would have passed out from lack of breathing.
Baby-sitter: $20
Tickets: $25
Snacks: $12
Making mainstream America pretty darn nervous: priceless
Posted by Max at September 25, 2005 02:45 AM