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April 06, 2006
slim pickings
Another day, another chance to tell a stranger over the phone that I’m innovative, bold, and customer-centric. Because I am! That ain’t gonna change, no matter how many people ask me! If nothing else, I’m sure my growing application file says, “She’s remarkably consistent.” So, no news yet on whether or not we’re trading quahogs for tam o’shanters. I like both equally, so things could truly go either way. We shall see.
In South Beach news, I’ve lost about ten pounds, whereas my “Rules Rules Rules McKenzie” husband has lost twenty-five. The guy is quite simply: a freak. He goes to the gym five days a week, he doesn’t eat bread or pasta anymore, he says his body feels wrong if he doesn’t get exercise every FRIPPIN day. Is this the guy I married? No, it’s not. The guy I married called me once, early on in our courtship, drunk and passed out in his own front lawn, yelling about imaginary lesbian monkeys hassling him from the street. The guy I married was burly and could drink twelve beers in a sitting. This new guy I’m now married to swishes around our home in checking the carb content of granola.
We’re not so much on a “diet” anymore as a “participating” in a “lifestyle”. I remember being a kid and opening up one of my friend’s parents’ fridges and seeing low carb this, no fat that and thinking “That my friend ain’t living.” Now I am older, fatter, and wiser and it is my fridge that is stocked with the diet sodas and the sparkling waters. It happens, kids, it happens. It will happen to you, if you're are not careful. Or maybe, if you are.
Posted by Max at April 6, 2006 10:23 PM