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May 26, 2006
enough with the frickin' birds, already!
OK this will be the last one and then I will save it up for me NEW blog, because what I really need is another reason to spend hours online looking at things and letting the world spin around without me.
I did a quick inventory of my bird-themed stuff and it's not as bad as I had imagined, though still enough to be a possibly alarming trend. In our youth, my brother Ruby and I somehow both got tagged as Lovers of Stuff We Didn't Actually Give Two Craps About. When I was around twelve, someone (MOM!) got it in her head that I loved unicorns and circulated this myth around the family for purposes of gift-giving ideas. I began to receive unicorn throw pillows, t-shirts, stuffed animals, you name it. This was right around the time my parents were splitting up, so I guess my dad wanted to compensate for ditching his family by giving me a really good birthday present that year. What says "I'm sorry I'm walking out of your life pretty much forever but have a great thirteenth birthday!" better than a scrimshaw pendant with a unicorn and a rainbow on it? Nothing, that's what. Man I wish I still had that thing.
My brother's albatross was Peanuts-themed items. Each year for Christmas he would receive a thick comic book chock full of the wacky adventures off that lovable Snoopy and gang. As he got older, it grew to include t-shirts with Joe Cool Snoopy, Snoopy hats, all sorts of stuff. Oh how it pained Ruby on Christmas morning to open up a gift and find some version of Snoopy staring up at him, and oh how it delighted me as I sat holding my third pair of unicorn pajamas.
So when we went up to my mom's house the other weekend and she whipped out a sweet brown t-shirt with the Snoopster on it, giving thumbs up below the words "Cool Dad", I was so freaking happy I almost couldn't breathe. She wasn't sure that Ruby would like it, but I convinced her it was the perfect gift for someone who was both a Snoopy fan and a Cool Dad.
Now that I think of it, every gift I give Ruby from now on is going to have a Peanuts theme. Screw Snoopy, though, I'm pulling out the big guns and going straight to Peppermint Patty. I'm gonna go mother-lovin' FRANKLIN on that kid's ass. RUBY YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Posted by Max at May 26, 2006 09:34 AM
Comments
That is hilarious! Did you have a unicorn purse shaped like a small duffel bag? Mine was purple and the unicorn was airbrushed on...it was all the rage in 6th grade.
Are you really starting a new blog?
Posted by: Nicole at May 28, 2006 11:19 AM
I didn't have a duffel bag, but I had just about everything else.
Yes, I plan on starting a second blog specifically about birds, birding, stuff with birds on it, and more nature/environmental writing. Don't worry, Son of Max will rage on so I will still have a place to tell my dumb stories and make jokes about my kid :)
Posted by: Max at May 29, 2006 09:55 PM