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June 08, 2006
winding down to wind it up
My gig as a work-at-home contractor for a long-time client is coming to a close soon, which means the end of long-distance staff meetings, IM gossip sessions with my former office pals, and mixing business with laundry. It also means I’ve been casting about for other sources of income, since my husband and I love to do things like live in a house and eat. Somehow in life, I’ve found myself inexplicably skilled at a couple of very specific and apparently not too common things: I’m an oligopoly of content management! This has made for a flurry of recruiter commotion, trips to other continents and most recently, meetings at Big Companies where they give you free sodas and make fun of you for wearing your interviewiest finery.
The meetings were in, you guessed it, Seattle, so that’s where I’ve been for the past week. It was the first time I've spent any serious time there since we moved away. I drove around in my rented Saturn Ion, peering at things like a toddler looking for bugs under backyard rocks. I love Seattle and more than that, I love my friends there. These are friendships nearly a decade old, forged in bars and break-ups, weekends in Vegas and camping, marriages and childbirth. But to me, at least on this trip, Seattle itself seemed like the tail end of really good yard sale. The Eames chair and the Fiestaware have been snatched up by savvy hipster collectors and what’s left are chipped Rainier Beer mirrors and broken foot massagers destined to languish in the “Free” box the next morning.
I could go on about my six-hour, unfed interview process (again with the no food! What’s with those folks, do they not need to eat?) and how by the end I was nearly hallucinating with hunger/fatigue/headache, or how I sort of fought with one of the interviewers because he was a dick and frankly I wasn’t in the mood but instead I wish to discuss TV.
It’s recently come to my attention that nearly every man I know hates the show Big Love as much as his wife/girlfriend enjoys it. This seems odd to me. My friend T. and I were enjoying Mai Tais one evening and extolling the virtues of polygamy to her increasingly annoyed husband. He suggested that in the finale of the show everyone should die and that next season, they could show eight episodes of a blank screen, which would be better than the actual show. And T. and I are like are you kidding me? You could have sex with three different women! There would be lots of folks to help out with the kids! Home-cooked meals every night! Think of it, it would be great! Then the subject of multiple husbands came up and she and I simultaneously gagged on our drinks, muttering, “What are you f-ing kidding me? Like I want to pick up three guys’ dirty socks.” My conclusion is that polygamy is a pretty great idea for the ladies since you’d have to do way less housework and also have more friends around to talk to especially when your husband straps an effing lamp onto his head and chases after fishies every night of the year.
My husband really does strap a lamp to his head and go fishing at night. Apparently when he does this, his rubber-coated water-walking feet look so sexy that horseshoe crabs are constantly humping him. Multiple loving wives or getting it on with crustaceans in the water, which is better? I fear my husband has made his choice. Ladies, you have my number. Call me, we'll work something out.
Posted by Max at June 8, 2006 11:10 PM
Comments
So, so true about the Big Love! My husband hates it -- and it's my favorite!
Seattle is not like a chipped Rainier mirror -- it's still good here. Just more crowded and less kitchy and well, we're old now, so what was once cool is maybe not as much when you have a mortgage and kids and what not to consider...but you should still come back!
Posted by: Emily at June 9, 2006 03:17 PM