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January 18, 2007
velociraptor
I’ve been thinking it was January 7th for about two weeks now. Imagine my surprise to learn that January is nearly over, taking with it my ability to stay up past ten, walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath, or eat something without getting heartburn like a flaming sucker punch to the sternum. She is so WIGGLY this one, and dumbly strong for a fetus. It’s like having a super-heated octopus twisting and twisting around inside your torso, and occasionally a lava-covered tentacle shoots up your chest into your throat to wave hello. My husband can’t even bear to watch when she is in full twist’n’writhe mode, claiming it’s like watching Alien without the popcorn.
At least her ability to force limbs between my ribs has meant that I am no longer in denial about her imminent arrival. My niece and sis-in-law came down from Vermont this past weekend to help me wash, fold, sort and organize legions of pink garments and generally get the ball rolling with converting my office to a nursery. Here are a few pictures of the results. I still have a ways to go but at least we have the basics ready, like socks and a few diapers, since I am convinced she could drop out of me at any moment. And by “drop out of me” I mean send me into 40+ hours of labor like her brother did.
This time, though, the Blue Angels (DUDES TURN THE VOLUME UP TO ELEVEN BEFORE YOU CLICK THE LINK! It will totally make for a multi-media experience!) won’t be flying around the hospital. There was something awesome and surreal about having massive contractions with fighter jets screaming past the windows, splitting the air open and sonic booming all over the place. In fact, that sort of sums up my first birth experience right there, if you add a few gallons of blood and a couple of highly disengaged doctors. Maybe this time I could request that lobsters and clams be strewn about the delivery room. Their soft clickings and scrapings would make for a subtler birthing experience while still imparting a local flavor.
I feel like the above is revealing me to be insane. The end.
But wait! In coming up for a name for this post, I found this picture. That's it--dinosaur not octopus! Next month's ultrasound should confirm it.
Posted by Max at January 18, 2007 09:01 AM