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December 29, 2005
christmas cheer
1. take one snowball
2. add whiskey (preferably Maker's Mark)
3. add another snowball. this will absorb all of the whiskey and at first make you irritated and thirsty
4. allow snowball to melt slowly
5. enjoy!
6. repeat as needed
More holiday photos on flickr
Posted by Max at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)
December 20, 2005
streetlights, santa, up and down the boulevard
I don't have much in me right now, but here's a heartfelt warning and then a small story.
HEARTFELT WARNING
If you're like me and you take a billion pictures and movie clips and then keep them all in one place i.e. your computer and your husband tells you almost as an after-thought that hey! he is going to upgrade your operating system tonight, by all means ENSURE THAT YOUR PHOTOS AND MOVIES ARE BACKED UP ELSEWHERE before said "upgrade" takes place. Because that way when your ashen-faced husband comes and tells you he's 90% sure he just deleted your entire hard drive, you won't have to sob into a towel in the bathroom for twenty minutes trying to be quiet so that your two-year old, whose precious moments thus far on Earth have all just (90% potentially) been erased, won't hear you and come in and pat you and ask "Sad, Mommy?" and then start crying himself.
Turns out they weren't erased. But backing up our digital photos rocketed from somewhere on our To Do for 2006 list to Done. Fini. You need a copy?
SMALL STORY
Festivus activity number I've-lost-track-at-this-point was to donate a toy to charity. The Bean had ten dollars that he got in the mail from his Grandpa, so on Saturday we made a great show of putting the money in his own pocket and going to the toy store to pick out a toy. There happened to be a toy drive going on in the parking lot, so we picked out the toy, had Bean pay for it himself, then walked over to give it to the toy drive.
Who was out there waving to the traffic but good old S. Claus himself! We've yet to do the whole Santa-in-a-mall thing, so seizing the chance to score a free Santa picture, I thrust the camera into my mortified husband's hand and basically accosted Santa where he stood. Alas, the Bean got so shy he tried to crawl into my scarf.
So this is the picture of me, my scarf, Santa and my shy, well-documented child.
Posted by Max at 09:34 PM | Comments (1)
December 16, 2005
when good ideas turn sad
The Bean calls construction and highway workers his buddies because at our old house in Seattle, there was some construction going on across the street. Every morning we would wave to the guys working and they would say “Hey, buddy!” to my son. This made quite an impression.
Now, there’s a bridge that we drive over every day on the way to and from the Bean's daycare where they are building a new bridge right next to it. It's pretty much buddy central, which gives us something to focus on other than the fact we are about to drop the Bean off into the sham that is our current childcare situation.
Most days, the buddies are there even when it is bitter cold. If they aren't there, the Bean knows where they are! They are home eating onion soup and salad with their mommies and daddies. The imagined lives of his buddies are quite vibrant, filled with hot meals and love.
In the spirit of festivus, I've been all "Let's make cookies for your buddies! We're going to bring cookies to your buddies for a present!" Finally last night, my husband made some delicious butterscotch and oatmeal cookies. I boxed a bunch of those up along with the lame slice-and-bake sugar ones that Bean and I had made the night before and we drove off this morning to present them.
I pictured the two of us walking into the trailer where there was likely a project foreman and handing the cookies to him. I even brought my camera, thinking it would be a good photo op to get a picture of the Bean with one of his hard-working buddies.
It was pouring rain this morning and at first it didn't look like anyone was around the construction site. Then I spotted a buddy, full safety-orange construction raingear on, walking just off the road. I pulled in behind him and gave a "toot toot!" of my horn. He spun around and squinted at me through the rain like a feral dog. I waved through the windshield: It’s just me! I was freshly showered, I had lipstick on*! And cookies! He came loping toward the car as I lowered the window.
His face was leather-thick and weatherworn, though he couldn’t have been much older than me. His teeth were broken or missing and his lips were split from the cold. He leaned into the car and continued to squint at me then back at the Bean in his car seat while I chirped on about holidays and toddlers and buddies and yum! Cookies!
As I reached across the passenger seat to hand him the box, our hands touched briefly. It was like brushing your fingers across pumice. He took a last slow, puzzled look at me and in his bloodshot eyes there grew a small spark. Finally he said “Are you that girl I been talking to on the computer?”
Happy holidays, buddies. May there be warm soup in all of your homes.
* This is a big deal at 8:30 am for someone who works from home.
Posted by Max at 12:09 PM | Comments (0)
December 14, 2005
winter? I don't even know her
The seashells say sure!, the window says no way. The seashells order a side of fries, the window gets a Diet coke. The seashells hit a two-out triple, the window's swinging strikes. The seashells wanna make out, the window has a headache. And on like that.
This is our bedroom window. Can you see the plastic sheeting my husband and I sealed on with a hair dryer in an effort to stay alive? It's not working. The frost is taking over. Soon we shall be made of ice entirely.
Posted by Max at 10:13 PM | Comments (0)
December 13, 2005
party bath!
Nothing says Hello! to the holiday season like a deep, maybe-it's-croup cough and a 3am spikin' fever.
The perfect winter celebration? Party bath! Fizzy bath bombs with scented weird twiggy things in them and a tube of green sparkle gel kept the party going all afternoon long.
The other thing is, I was so outraged by this commercial that I yelled at my husband "DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? LOOK AT THIS!" for the entire duration of the commercial while he ignored me and tapped away at something on his Virtual Girlfriend. Thank goodness someone else wrote about the commercial so I don't have to.
Posted by Max at 09:39 PM | Comments (3)
December 11, 2005
snow angel
We tested the Bean's new snowsuit today and it works! Let the angel-making begin.
Also in this weekend's festivus news, my good good friend Lu was in town for the weekend and she and our other good good friend KP hung the bedazzler out. We did a bunch of heart-warmingly fun stuff including checking out the RISD alumni show. I was in the middle of closing a deal on a small painting by this guy when my friends, who had wandered ahead, called to tell me they had spotted Cybil Shepard in the crowd. Wearing a white jumpsuit and weird glasses!
More stuff happened but as I went out two consective nights, which for me is basically the equivalent of a month-long hash and donuts binge, I am too tired and unhealthy to write. In fact, I keep pausing my typing to stare blankly at the computer screen while visions of Ms. Shepard dance in my head.
Posted by Max at 10:12 PM | Comments (0)
December 07, 2005
itchy owie
These little kitties are peering out of their gift bag as if to say "You didn't wrap the presents for the cousins yesterday like you told your son you would and now you will both be inflicted by a weird-ass rash while working on this evening's festivus activity of planting hyacinth bulbs!"
Yes, I am famously (among four) bad for handling urgent situations and tonight was no exception.
The Bean and I were planting a little bulb kit and gamely watching the peat moss suck up a cup of warm water before we planted the bulbs. I was thinking, this is great! Science and festivus all at once! Suddenly my neck became SO FRIGGING ITCHY and felt like it was on fire. Simultaneously, the Bean began clawing at his cheeks and trying to pull his reddening ears off his head.
To my husband I said "Something's wrong! We're so itchy! We're SO ITCHY" and frantically showed him our red marks. He suggested we get in the shower to rinse off whatever the hell it was (so logical - I love it!)
Apparently there is something called a hyacinth allergy? Which we have, I guess? Or you can be allergic to peat moss, too. Whatever it was, it was the weirdest holiday event ever. Here's the calm before the storm, with the peering and the water and the science.
Posted by Max at 10:31 PM | Comments (1)
December 06, 2005
elfy
Technically we crapped out on Festivus tonight in that we didn't exactly do the activity the Bean selected. However, we did get a tree.
It's just big enough for my favorite ornament from my childhood and a couple new sparkle stars, which always looks pretty in the lights.
Posted by Max at 10:18 PM | Comments (0)
December 05, 2005
mug shot
Back when my husband and I were ourselves young pups (well, I was sort of a young pup and he was a canine embryo), we enjoyed going on dates. Our first date was at the formerly-skanky-currently-hip Rendezvous in Seattle where we went to see a mutual friend performing in a drag show. About fifteen minutes into the date, I, who had just ended a rather grueling seven-year relationship, found out that my date was Barely Legal. That is, I was thirty and he was...younger. This news made me positively giddy, as did the gin I was throwing back to prevent myself from running out the door. What was I doing? How could it be? Shouldn't a woman my age be dating like, lawyers and taxmen?
Then came a break in the show and my date/future husband excused himself to go to the restroom. Our friend came gliding over to say hello and I was like "AHHHH! He's an infant! What do I do?!" Our friend raised a well-groomed eyebrow and said who cares? As long as we were having fun.
Our next date was a rodeo, then car crash derby featuring Carzilla, new wave dancing and my favorite date hot spot, the state fair.
Now, seven years later, as part of our Festivus activities, I got to enjoy my festive hot cocoa in a state fair-crafted mug that has my husband's face on one side and the words "Too hot to handle" on the other.
Have fun we surely do.
Posted by Max at 10:21 PM | Comments (0)
December 04, 2005
lights, camera, no action
Tonight we combined our festivus activity (driving around to look at Christmas lights) with returning pans to the caterer. It was kind of half-hearted due to puppy-related parental fatigue (hence the boring picture). That and all the whiskey my husband drank last night.
Too bad I can't include an audioclip of the Bean screaming "Window down! Window down!" over and over again in a devil voice because my window was down to take pictures and of course that meant he wanted his down, too. It really added to the magic of the holiday season.
We got snow, though. That's festive!
Posted by Max at 08:08 PM | Comments (0)
December 03, 2005
mistletoes
Today's festivus activity had to be wedged in between playing with a puppy, cleaning the house so our babysitter won't refuse to come over anymore, and getting ready for FancyLadyFest 2005 a.k.a. the holiday cocktail party. Fortunately, the Bean selected “mistletoes” (painting his toenails red and green), which his dad easily managed while I was out for my umpteenth trip to Target this time to buy dog toys and cocktail napkins.
Thaddeus seems to have a mean case of kennel cough, so we were up most of last night. We're taking him to the vet Monday for a thorough going-over and canine review. He seems much better today and is in fact currently attacking my pant leg. I always knew that brown corduroy really drove the boys wild, now I have my proof.
Posted by Max at 06:15 PM | Comments (1)
December 02, 2005
in our cups
Tonight's activity was...Christmas mugs! I bought some snowmen mugs and we wrote Coco's cousins' names on them with a silver paint pen. We'll give these as presents and hopefully the kids can use them for hot cocoa as they get older.
Also, today we most unexpectedly got a puppy. His name is Thaddeus and he is sweet.
Posted by Max at 12:28 AM | Comments (0)
December 01, 2005
festivus becomes us
Since the Bean is now old enough to know what the heck is going on most of the time, we've decided to try and establish some sort of traditional holiday happenstance. I got the idea of an activity advent from Loobylu, who is a billion times more creative and talented than I am. Still, I managed to come up with twenty-four holiday-related activities, wrote each one a tag, then put them all in a glass jar. Some of the activities have gifties (for instance..."Party bath!" has fizzy bath bombs and sparkle Santa shower gel from the dollar bin at Target.)
Every night, the Bean will pick one card and I will attempt to photograph and post the ensuing activity. That way, perhaps I can stem the tide of bitter hate mail that comes my way about my lack of posting...HUSBAND.
Our first night's activity was building snowmen ornaments to give as gifts. I totally cheated and had him pick that one out of the jar since I was feeling crafty.
After the initial excitement of picking out the card and opening the little present, it was pretty much all me hot gluing beads onto pipe cleaner while the Bean yelled about turning the tee-bee on, but hey. That in and of itself could be the start of a beautiful family tradition.
See you tomorrow!
Posted by Max at 01:23 AM | Comments (1)